Even when a weekend is a workend, Mondays arrive with all sorts of baggage that I need at least until Tuesday to sort through. I wish I could be that person who thinks funday when they hear Monday. Sadly, if I were on Match Game, the only clue that would work for me would be manic. Weekends, good. Monday, not so much.

As usual, Tuesday was making up for Monday and the week was moving along except for the annoying fact my foot had been bothering me for a few days. By Tuesday night, I thought it was getting worse not better. And when I woke up today and my foot touched the wood floor, I thought I’d be sick. Kind of like when you hit your head getting out of the car and the pain leaves you dizzy and out of breath – numb and piercing and nauseating all at once. Every step I took felt like that. And I didn’t even know how to describe it. Swearing and holding my breath seemed to be the best way, though I doubted it would be effective at the doctor’s office.

Fact: I have never used crutches before.

Fact: The novelty wore off in about 30 seconds.

I’m waiting to hear back as to whether it’s a fracture or if it’s something else nice and fun that will require a Frankenstein boot.

If it is a fracture, I blame Cole Haan. And Apple. And the war on reproductive rights.

The purse I’ve been using has a flap front with a zipper pouch where I keep my phone. And twice in the last ten days I lifted the flap to open my purse and my phone fell, hard, on the top of my foot. I’d been eyeing a new Rebecca Minkoff bag.

When my doctor asked if I’d dropped anything on my foot recently I said, “Only my phone.” She looked at me with concern.

Phone induced fractures are possible apparently. Seriously? I said. You’d be surprised, she replied as she sent me off for x-rays.

If it is a fracture, time spent marching at the rally Saturday to protect my uterus may have irritated the iFoot. And the 5K the weekend prior couldn’t have helped. All for a good cause, right?

I’m figuring out how to hop around on crutches. It’s not pretty. Think graceful but then do a 180. Add a couple of dogs who really like checking out the crutches as I walk, and it’s a bit like the gauntlet.

So, Wednesday, you won this one. I give up. Tomorrow is another day.

And now, five great things someone else said about getting over those days when you could use a refund:

Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it. – Ann Landers

For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain. – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, So what. That’s one of my favorite things to say. So what. – Andy Warhol, The Philosophy of Andy Warhol

Just tell yourself, Duckie, you’re real quite lucky. – Dr. Seuss, Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are?

Being content is perhaps no less easy than playing the violin well: and requires no less practice. – Alain de Botton


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